Fan
Expo, Canada's largest exhibition for fans of media and gaming-based science
fiction and fantasy, has come and gone for another year. If you've gone to Fan
Expo or other major "comic cons" of its type for a few years, you
will notice the same types of people over and over. Here, in no particular
order, are ten people you will always see at Fan Expo.
1. The B-Actor
He
will never walk the red carpet at Cannes or TIFF or Sundance, but at Fan Expo,
he's treated like a superstar because geeks remember him from a TV show that
was cancelled years ago. It's great that he has fans who remember him. He has
given them some of their best geek memories; now they can repay him by honouring him (and by buying autographs and photo ops).
Alas,
he's still petitioning his show's creators to revive the show thirty years
later. He doesn't realize that if a reboot occurs, it'll have a new cast who is
30 years younger than him.
2. The Purist
The
Purist is usually male, though rare exceptions exist. This is the guy who hates
Johnny Storm being black in the 2015 Fantastic
Four movie, is horrified that the Hulk will be Korean American, and
condemns the Kamala Khan Miss Marvel as "political correctness"
imposed by SJW's (Social Justice Warriors). He argues that all these changes
are heresies against "canon". To him, fictional universes should
remain unchanged forever, never to be re-interpreted, as immutable as Holy
Scriptures.
Yet
he'll be first in line to get an autograph from Katie Sakhoff, whom he thinks
was great as Starbuck in Battlestar
Galactica.
3. The White Guy with the Asian Fetish
He's
here because many anime cosplayers are East Asian women, thanks to Toronto's
multicultural society. He constantly talks about how much he loves
"Asian" culture and "Asian" women as if China, Japan,
Korea, Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia, and the Philippines are all one homogenous
society. He fantasizes about showing the Chinese girl how much he loves her
culture by taking her out for kimchi and watching anime with her.
But
despite how much he loves Asian women, he will NEVER vote for Olivia Chow.
4. The Jealous Cosplayer
This
is usually a woman. The Jealous Cosplayer rants that Heroes of Cosplay doesn't portray "the community"
accurately and that not everyone is a celebrity like Yaya Han and that the
show's producers have ignored and insulted the majority of cosplayers. She
sounds like she's criticizing a reality show for not being a documentary.
In
reality, she's just jealous that she's not on it.
5. The Fake Geek Boy
This
is the photographer who has no interest in science fiction, fantasy, horror,
comics, or games, yet he always comes to Fan Expo to take photographs of attractive
female cosplayers. He thinks Fan Expo is better than the CHIN Bikini Contest
because Fan Expo runs for four days, not just one afternoon. He's not
interested in the costumes at all; he's just interested in what's inside the
costume.
But
although some men question a woman's "geek cred" at science fiction
conventions, no one will challenge a Fake Geek Boy's geek cred because he is a
man with a long telephoto lens.
6. The Male Photographer of Females
Cosplayers Only
This
person is NOT to be confused with the Fake Geek Boy (see #5). This photographer
has extensive geek cred, for example, by knowing every version of the costumes
of Wonder Woman, Black Canary, Psylocke, and other female characters. That's
because he photographs only female cosplayers. If there's a cosplay pair that
belongs together, for example, Little Mac and Zero Suit Samus, he'll ask the
male to step aside and photograph only the female.
Guys,
it's okay to take photographs of male cosplayers. Nobody is going to think you
don't like girls.
7. The Browncoat
This
is often a woman, though not always. She thinks Joss Whedon is the greatest
writer and TV show producer ever. She gets angry if you say that Buffy is a
poor role model for women because the vampire slayer always wants abusive
relationships with handsome bad boys. She rationalizes the lack of Asian
characters on Firefly as some sort of
post-racial utopia. She doesn't realize that Firefly is a sci-fi version of the Lost Cause myth of the
Confederate States of America. She seriously thinks Joss Whedon is a feminist.
Browncoats
talks about Joss Whedon in the same way that evangelical Christians talk about
Jesus. Both teams are smug in their superiority but preach for different gods.
8. The Bored Boyfriend
This
is the guy who's always saying, "How long do we have to stay in
line?", "What are we lining up for?", "Who cares about a
photo op?", and "This stuff is all so stupid" to his girlfriend
when they're in line. As he waits in line with her, he's thinking of how he can
convert his girl away from this geeky stuff and make her normal, the perfect
girlfriend who will serve beer and wings to him as he watches baseball.
He's
upset because his girlfriend hasn't learned the first rule of relationships:
girls are supposed accompany their guys and do things that interest the guys,
but guys have no obligation to accompany their girls and do things that
interest girls.
9. The Anti-Intellectual
This
person is often male, though females exist but are not as outspoken. The
Anti-Intellectual brags that he would rather watch science fiction than read
it. If he reads anything, it's comics. There's nothing wrong with preferring
movies, TV, and comics over novels and short stories. But the Anti-Intellectual
brags about his disdain for books (except graphic novels) as if it makes him
cool. He thinks he's a geek version of a hipster. Don’t bother talking to this
guy about intersectionality in Nalo Hopkinson's stories. The most profound
literary theme he can understand is that Bruce Wayne has psychological problems
because Joker killed his parents.
Alas,
the Anti-Intellectual is a symptom of how science fiction fandom has become
like the general public. Remember, Toronto is the city that elected Rob Ford as
Mayor.
10. The Blue Jays Fan
This
person can be either male or female. He or she is not actually attending Fan
Expo but passing by the convention centre on his/her way to the baseball game
(There's ALWAYS a Blue Jays game on during Fan Expo).
The
Blue Jays Fan often thinks that people who wear costumes are silly. He or she
will make this judgement while wearing a baseball jersey with the name and
number of a favourite player on its back.
